Sunday, March 2, 2014

It's Happening :O

Assalamualaikum wbt. HI PEEPS !
OMAIGAD OMAIGAD I am so excited for today's entry cuz' aaaaaaah

I am going to pursue my studies in UK. WHAT

Ok for a moment I just can't believe it, then for some moments, I feel like to pass out.
Ok ok ok ok ok ok the excitement is all over the nerves but not to forget the obligations I have to fulfill as I reach there.

First of all, alhamdulillah yes I pass my final examination with flying colours, yah I dare to say so cuz' I worked hard for this. I tried my best to get what I want though I constantly remind myself that what is yours, is yours. takdak rezeki, means you are not meant to get it.

Ok so yah. I pass my ielts examination emmm not so good, not so bad. ok la.
Band 6.5. Ok la kan ? Self study within one month. ok laaaa I am satisfied cuz' I have tried my best, and hopefully I will improve every time I communicate in English. Minimum req pun at least 6.0 every module for ACCA course kat BPP Uni. So lepas la dah hoi beban satu.

Pastuhhh sekarang I am settling those fcking uni applications.
This is the most hated part of the entry. I went to idp last week, the agent for overseas uni application nearby to british council office, bringing everything needed for the uni application and hoping that I would never come back to kl regarding this matter.
So I talked and discussed everything with the counsellor. She said they'll do everything for me and how funny cuz' the counsellor kept saying to me and my dad, "your daughter's good cuz' she has prepared everything unlike the other students, they need to come back again to settle the application"
not to blow my own trumpet, I said "well I asked my friends about this and I prepared everything so that I don't have to come back kl again" that's it. like 4 days later, she called me. I was expecting good news from her since I kept updating my email everyday, but no.
THEY CANNOT PROCEED MY APPLICATION cuz' acca is professional programme and they do not conduct any application for professional programme. like whattt ?
I asked the counsellor again, emphasizing the 'discussion' we had that day, where she said they can do everything and then she summed up 'everything' as follows,
"I am new here and my manager says we don't do application for professional programme, so you need to do by yourself.." like double triple mega WHATTT ?
The reasons I came to see an agent (in this case, idp) were,
1. I had no time to settle everything regarding uni placement cuz' I'm working person
2. my lecturer said kptm students always deal with idp to seek for overseas placement
3. Needless to say, we trusted agents more than ourselves when it comes to overseas placement.
Ok. Fine. Like she said, she's new. I can't put further blame on anyone without being irrational. In addition, I didn't have to pay anything. I almost burst out in anger that day she called me and my colleagues wanted me to calm down..... cuz' I was expecting something else to happen then urghh
Oh man, this kind of thing always happens to me. Mama selalu cakap, "kita merancang, Allah tentukan"
Guess I need to learn to accept things just the way they are. apa aku cakap ni

Ok luckily a good friend of mine sanggup membantuuu :'D thanks to farahin cuz' she offered to help me settle this since I am far miles away from kl. she went to another agent, aug. just like the other friends (ok aku sorang ja sesat pi idp....but I have my own reason why I chose idp *see above*)

I decided to apply for platinum status tuition provider, BPP uni (birmingham campus) and birmingham city uni (bcu) gak idk in case tak dapat apa tp tu la bcu is not under top 50 unis yg mara listed. we'll wait and see..... I hope March will bring good news for me.

Hmm setakat ni ja la leh update. tunggu offer from university is an agony.

p/s: Oh kerja eh ? So far so good. but yeah I'd like to try new things rather than doing the same things everyday. this matter kena bring up to boss la aaaa ketaq ah jumpa boss

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

2014 and people's judgement

It's 2014 and I'm in the 20s.

Frankly to say, I am a working person ! I am bit of excited, nervous and worried of what I'll be going through as a real accountant cuz' that is what I aim for.

No. It is not exactly what am I aiming for.
It is too emm how to say this, allow me to speak of the society's mentality.
Being an accountant sounds so boring to me, and I am pretty sure the same goes to our society.
What is it I would like to talk about the society's mentality ?  Ok give me a sec to think of my words.

There. People's judgement will never be enough.
It is what people themselves fear the most. But remember, Allah Almighty's judgement is the most of all.
He judges everything, even the smallest things you do.
I am afraid of myself, after those temporary mundane satisfactions and leave everything I need for eternally Hereafter behind.
I am part of the society, you are too, all of us do judge each other.
Having said that, it is fair for us all that none of us is perfect.

What am I aiming for ? There are so many since I am a dreamer. It is a fact that I cannot 'undo' it or stop myself from doing it cuz' this is myself. What am I made of. What am I striving to live with.
Yes. There are so many that I don't think I could make a real Bucket Wishlist cuz' I know I won't get em' all.
Consider my brain, then there's a cell or whatever science calls it 'to keep the memory' and there you'll find everything I wish for. hehe

Naaaa how is it related to the society's mentality ?
Not each of us will understand the needs of each other and even if we do, to what extent we can help those people in needs ? We must help ourselves.
One day you did a good thing than the next day you did wrong then people judge you.
One day you did bad things than the next day you've changed and then people judge you.
All we know is to judge, judge and judge. Not to personally involve in his/her world.
Yah yah of course it is none of our business to get involved in someone's life cuz who would ? There are much rather 'good' things to do.
I'm living in a society where people talk bad things to each other, condemn each other, lie to each other.
Then the fall of a kingdom will someday come upon its people.

What am I trying to say is, we as together should help each other.
I aim high, you aim high. Together we shall invite the sparkles of success within this world.

I want to involve myself in the forensic accounting. How bout' you ?
We'll do this together :D for the sake of our kingdom !


Friday, November 15, 2013

Ambiguity in Action

Days and nights.
Do you know how does it feel like not knowing of what the future has to promise.

I might know. But I don't expect it to be as far as what I've known.
I tried my best, perhaps not fully yah cuz' it is still ongoing but is coming to an end.

I want to end this whole CAT thing splendidly. *in terms of my examination results*
I want to end this 2013 year majestically. *tho I would be sleeping all day long doing nothing after 12th of Dec 2013*
Then I would like to start my 2014 enthusiastically. Because of this uncertainty of what the future might be, I shall get a job.
Having this plan of getting a job from a firm, I tenaciously believe that I will cope with something useful for my future *life planning*.  *I could earn some money to buy things* *kumpui kumpui kumpui duit sampai jadi bukit*
I am certainly a step or *perhaps 1 and half steps* closer to my target but I have to endure the pain of everything if they are not meant to be as what I have expected.
The pain might be not be as painful as I thought but taking into the account of my loved ones feelings, that would be the most painful.

What has gotten into this M girl ?
This future thing kind of scary. People might simply say "oh you go study sudah la everything's fine; it is the matter of next year no need to think now; we know what are we doing now no worries everything's cool;" bla bla bla kepala hotak semua orang ?
Ok ok it is not my future is held in people's hands; it's in my hand. Allah has it fated on me and it is me who either successfully make it through or ... terribly fck it up.
If life is all about choices, then what are the choices do I have ? I should have gone to the place where I supposed to be in 3 months time if I made my choice. There are more options indeed and yes of course there is possibility I wouldn't go anywhere, I would just get my plans done for my future, here. here not *in my blog* pls

Anyhow my brain would have exploded if I keep overthinking this such unimportant yet so important thing.
Should I have you know that I am planning to get an iPod touch 5th generation ? I'M SAVING FOR THIS TOO.

this is sort of 'ambiguity' so

p/s: "Hidup kena pandai gelecek." -Mom

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Another Slice of Lemon

Hai. Sihat ? I wish you guys are fine. cuz' I am ... not quite doing fine.
It's okay cuz' this is just a matter of myself. I don't talk too much about it.
Maybe because it isn't really matter.

Nak cakap. Aku patut bersyukur. patut sangat.
tapi kenapa hati ni tetap rasa tak puaih hati.
people could say it is okay to feel bad for yourselves so that you will work harder to be the best.
how would he/she knows that's the best thing we can be ?
what if it isn't about being the best of everything. it is about being the best out of yourself.

for example.
aku pi uk education fair. aku kena speaking. so I tried. I spoke to British peeps in there.
I 'inclined' to make some grammar mistakes but hey. I learned to speak. daripada tak tercakap langsung.
That's a small success that matters to me. #ielts #hoihoi #takut

example lagi.
tengah menunggu lrt kat stesen Chan Sow Lin. an old man came to me asking "Lrt ni pegi Sri Petaling ke?" I answered "Ha'ah." since I too, was heading to Sri Petaling. 5 minutes in time, a train was coming. I knew it was heading to Ampang by the LED sign above the train's front mirror so I did not step myself into the train. that pakcik who was asking me just now stepped himself into the train and I was like "Oh mygoodness, he went to the wrong train !" *cey takdak ah nak speaking sangat time monolog.
I made a quick decision, called upon his .. emm idk his name so I cried "Pakcik ! pakcik !"
Shit. He didn't hear me. And I was not certain of his race sebab muka mcam nak cina tapi mcm nak melayu aaaa.
Adrenalin rushed. I stepped myself into the coach he entered to and told him "Pakcik, pakcik silap train lah. train ni nak pegi Ampang, train Sri Petaling satu lagi." People inside and outside of the train witnessed every moment of this unforgettable effort. He nodded and we both stepped out from the train quickly before it closed the door. Before another train arrived, he told me that he was going to Sg. Besi.
This is something I treasure. An effort to help people regardless of their age, race and etc.
I was thinking 'ish pakcik ni silap train. tak habaq satgi kesian dia. pastu skrg ni nak kena jerit panggil dia kejaq masuk train aaaa quite troublesome.' IMAGINE IF I WAS ACTING SO SELFISH. I would have been feeling so guilty for eternally.
So this is one big success to me. this matters. cuz' I don't always do benefaction. heh

Life's worth to explore. Explore everything and make everything the best out of yourself. :D

I'm feeling better. Okay then takleh nak tulih byk byk dah nak kena sambung study, tak abeh lagi study T-T chaww

p/s: Trial exam 4 days away. Final exam 30 days away.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

this kind of thing

I have never felt this way before.
It is a kind of thing. And it gets burdening me every single day.
This isn't just a silly thing. It is a thing.

So I once asked myself,
Can I just prove to people of something I am capable of and not some things people expect me to prove ?

Sadly, I am living in a world of beautiful lies.
And I am hoping they are joking about it. I really am.
Because we can never be sure of what the future has promised.
Because anything can happen.
Because me myself can't guarantee everything.
Because I am just me. I am not perfect.
And I ain't Batman who got the money, suits, cars and no parents. I have parents. and a family.

But hey, I promised to myself. Those dreams. Are not being left without being chased, right M ?

I should write a journal like in the movies so that when I grow old and/or die, my grandchildren will read it and find the hidden gold or jewelries or keys to another secrets or passwords to deactivate my twitter, facebook accounts. or they can just learn to live the life to the fullest just like what I'm doing.

p/s: sorry I've been much of this 'shakespeare' thingy lately. and I'm on my pms. this could be the reason too bah.

Saturday, August 17, 2013


The clock is ticking.
Still, I am not sure of my life's purpose.

Life's better if we live it the way it ought to be.

Because the world is a stage,
People are the actors.

The reality is hurt.
Yet, people keep chasing the lies, leaving the truths untold behind.

Some people could bear the agony.
The others fall deep into the well of lies.

And I am a living grateful person.
Climbing to the wall of the well where I 'slipped' into.
With the hope, I'll be a strong woman living her life independently,

And reach to the top of the well, to face everything the world is up to.


p/s: I don't know what am I expecting.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Natcomp and MWBC 13' yeahh

Halu halu halu halu halu halu haluuuuu.
hehe it has been a busy week as the classes for semester 3 aka the last one have just started and not to forget Ramadhan is coming again ! :'D

Ha yeahh. Again Sultanah Asma made their comeback and still, the champion. Alhamdulillah and good job girls for continuing the legacy ! It is undeniable that reaching to the top isn't the hardest thing yet to be compared with the imperishable success.

So what's the story behind the success ? I'm pretty sure every year Sasband got some untold stories in which only the band members knew it and they prefer to keep it to themselves. But obviously, if you are one of the people passing by the Jalan Langgar, masjid derga depan sekolah kami ja ha, you must have known the efforts being put on by the girls days and nights. I am telling the truth. the fact. Hard work pays off, isn't it ?
Hopefully lah. kalau hard work ja tak berdoa apa takleh gak. so does if the other way around.

I'm skipping those "unimportant" parts. Let's get to the most important part ! PHOTOSSS

sasband booth in front of the stadium putra bukit jalil's main entrance

fenaaa one of the crews

asmarians 94"

Methodist Girls' School (MGS) 

close up of mgs trombonist

and yes. he was one of the judges. they judged on the field during the performance.

Philippine's marching band. ah dah lupa nama apa. they have huge number of band members :O

I love the colourguards :'D 
this band was the most happening marching band ever on that night haha !

amaigad can't you see they played trombone with ONE HAND !
the other hand at the back, aaaand everybody was cheering them. 

Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid (SAHC) themed "Pendekar"

they are improving and that's a good news for everybody and 'bad' news for some. 
Sasband, I think it is not impossible you'll be getting a new competitor in these upcoming 5 years. 

SMK Chung Hwa Wei Sin (Swadaya Band) yeayy Wei Sin ! 
Sasband's bandmates from Terengganu ! 
We have always been maintaining good relationship between our acquaintances in which Sir Tang's bands too. 

This is the Vibration Effect. ehehehe 

Bahana Sparadha from Indonesia. themed emm China kot cuz' they were telling a story or a history of Indonesia. 

they were the conductors ! the bald one looked exactly like the Emperor !

 dramatic :O 

I like the flags' colour combination. bila sasband nak ada flag ceni haa

There. Sasband was warming up. time ni nak ketaq pun, tune pun ketaq. apa pun ketaq. 
*true story. 

the living legends ! 
I was not applying to be one of the crews cuz' if not, 
I would not have been here to upload pics ! 

Pitch Percussion was warming up too, with fellow instructor from Thailand. Sir Chain.

this shot was aimed for the flutists ;)

sakuro wey ! the african folk song and those so-africa dancing moves

dua beradik gediks sebentar. 

the conductors wear white. makin bertambah bilangan field conductor, from 1 to 2. then to 4. 

she and the gang. le seniors 2008 :3

with kak reen ! *though I wasn't in the picture* 

khas utk fena sebab dia nak simpan gambaq yg ada muka dia

2011 da rock ! kenapa tak berapa clear hmm 

see supporters Asma. haa
kawan mama pun ada kot mai ! 
dulu time aku ngan kakak dulu takmai punn same goes to my cousin. 

ma sister with le seniors 2010 weet weet 

kolej's supporters. spirited as always. 

I tried to shoot panorama and it turned out to be .. not bad. 
I have a better pic of this but random dude messed it up by blocking the middle view -_-

with ma gang ! tenshah played tuba and naza played trombone during our glorious year :'D 

so I zoomed my p510 with focal length of 1000mm 
for a snapshot of some of my friends up there ! jenuh dok lambai tangan dari bawah suruh tgok kamera

the moment where the emcee announced the champion. ka best hornline or cg or percussion 

see everybody cheers ! :'D


ha amik ni save wani buat frame kat usm nanti in case hang rindu aku hahahaha

rendah tak semestinya pendek. 

skandal skandal guaaa 

After 24++ hours long to edit and re-edit this blog post, finally. 
Guess I should be THANKING to p1 wimax internet connection for being very 'helpful' in order to make this blog post a ... success. 

So band season is officially ended for this year. It is something we the marching band geeks do not like. 
But every living thing has its end. apa tu ? lulz 
I am trying to not mentioning "Mulan" cuz' yeah if I do so I'll be talking about it like forever. 
However past is past. Am looking forward on the next theme. *though some of us have already know about it but we prefer to keep it to ourselves ;) kalau dak, spoil ahh !*
aaand if you're wondering why I was not in purple that was because I tak cukup bajet la you nak beli baju sasband africa. baju lama dah burok :( and baju purple yg casual pun limited sgt. that kemeja my sister wore that day was mine. 

Sekian, bekas ahli pancaragam Smk Sultanah Asma tahun 2011. 
Seksyen flute. seruling. piccolo. *pulun* 
See ya again Sasband ! 

p/s: doakan saya pelajar cat-acca takpun foundation in accountancy acca yang bakal menghabiskan program 1.5 tahun di kptm kl pada hujung tahun ini. semoga saya dan kengkawan lulus cat dengan cemerlangnya. dan seterusnya acca di uk. amin.